"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7
This verse made me think. What if we never had to face any hard situations. Would our faith be as strong?
When I was pregnant with Bronson I remember hearing about some people I knew who had lost their baby during pregnancy. I couldn't imagine what they were going through. I did know that we were blessed to have a daughter and a baby on the way. When my husband had cancer and went through his chemotherapy treatments we were told having kids most likely wouldn't happen naturally for us. So, when we were able to get pregnant immediately with our daughter, and then very quickly after with our son, we were ecstatic.
Even though I was able to get pregnant right away with both of my children, and both of my children are now healthy, I also know the heartache and emotional roller coaster of having a baby who you don't think is going to make it. There were many days I would leave Bronson's hospital room (click here for his story) and wonder if I would see him again. At night I would wonder if my phone was going to ring with someone asking me to rush back to the hospital to say my goodbyes to him.
Through all of this I do know that I truly learned what it is to trust in God. About a month ago we had Bronson dedicated at our church and I remember thinking that it was sort of a second dedication. I don't know how many times in the hospital I prayed over Bronson and told God that Bronson was his. I didn't know if that meant that God was going to bring him home to heaven or keep him on earth for us. I just knew that I needed to give him to God.
Bronson's story has reached many people and you wouldn't believe the emails both Jon and I have received with stories of how people were impacted by our story. Some wrote that they were inspired to go to church for the first time in years and years, some decided to give their lives to Christ. In my own little world I wouldn't have chose for Bronson to go through what he did, but looking at how many lives and people he has had an impact on in his short 6 months of life I can't say that I would change a thing.
All I know is that God really knows what he's doing!